NICE JOKES!

Teacher: History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what
had happened in the past.
Student: Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history.
Teacher: Why?
Student: There is no future in it.


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Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much
would your father still have?
Ted: $10.
Teacher: You don't know maths.
Ted: You don't know my father!



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Mother: David, come here.
David: Yes, mom?
Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
David: But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
Mother: I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am
scolding you now.



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Father: Why did you fail your mathematics test?
Son: On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8
Father: So?
Son: On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 and on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8. If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?

A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were
watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of
breaking plates,
then complete silence. The daughter turned to look at her father.

Daughter: It's mummy!
Father: How do you know?
Daughter: She didn't say anything.


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Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes Dear
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: No, mine is undying love


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Man: How old is your father?
Boy: As old as me
Man: How can that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I was born


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Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.


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Teacher: Simon, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as
your brother's. Did you copy his?
Simon: No, teacher, it's the same dog!


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Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you
anything!
Son: That's why I say she's no good!


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Teacher: "Where were you born?"
Student: "Singapore, Sir."
Teacher: "Which part?"
Student: "All of me, Sir."


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A teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference between
'unlawful' and 'illegal'?"

Only one hand shot up.


"Ok, answer, Joan" said the teacher.

"'Unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal'
is a sick eagle."



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A boy came home from school with his exam results.
"What did u get?" asked his father.
"My marks are under water," said the boy.
"What do u mean 'under water'?"
"They are all below 'C' (sea) level"

HAHAHHAHA!